Here's one that will leave you speechless. The Wakefield Charitable Trust in MA has a small collection of fancy chickens. Many of these chickens were not designed for the cold New England winters, so the ladies at a local retirement community KNIT SWEATERS for the chickens. As strange as this sounds (and for those of you who don't believe me, go to www.Youtube.com and put in Chicken Sweaters), the chickens are said to be laying more eggs and look adorable. What could be cuter than a chicken in an argyle sweater.

The ladies at the retirement community claim benefits also. The knitting circle has introduced new friendships, and some of the ladies have gotten over their fear of chickens. I have a very dear friend (nameless but you know who you are!) who's terrified of chickens. Would this help?

As to bridge... many of us find ourselves alarmed by not knowing what to do after the opponents open. Here's help. (And you don't have to know how to knit.)

Remember, we have three choices: OVERCALL, which requires 7-17 pts (10-17 at the two-level) and a Darn Good five-card plus suit. Or we can DOUBLE, which promises four cards in the unbid major (4-3 is okay when doubling a minor), shortness in the opponent's suit and an opening-ish hand. Our third choice? PASS, and for us members of the Clint Eastwood School of Bidding, Pass is a distant third choice.